Too African for the Americans and too American for the Africans.
Are we the new mixed: Africans born in America. Are we American or African or both?
I was born in America, both my parents came to America from Nigeria before I was born, to start a better life for themselves and their family. Both my parents have been in America for 20+ years, built a house back home and have raised four wonderful, beautiful kids.
Growing up, I understood fully and even spoke my tribal language (Igbo). I remember during my youth my dad playing some ogene music and dancing with my mom in the living room with a Guinness in one hand. My mom teaching me how to clean and cook food because I was the oldest daughter (Ada). I identified myself as a Nigerian before an American because that's all I knew growing up. My house was "Little Nigeria" it wasn't until I started getting older that I realized the way my parents raised my siblings and I wasn't the norm, and that I had to conform to an American lifestyle or feel the wrath of my age mates calling me "African booty-scratcher" or "FOB: Fresh of the Boat"
I was confused and frustrated. I was born in this country, I am an American citizen but I have Nigerian parents and was raised as a Nigerian child, learning not to take things with your left hand or having to greeting countless aunties and uncles (Even when not in the mood) or my favorite not getting an allowance because doing chores as children was what you were suppose to do, your parents work hard to put food on the table it was our responsibility to keep the house tidy no matter what or else, PUNISHMENT!
I couldn't identify with my American friends, so during that time my parents took me and my siblings to Nigeria to visit all our relatives, friends, and see the house they had built in Anambra State (where my parents are from). I was eleven years old, this was my third time going to Nigeria but the first two times I was really small. Here I was on the airplane heading to what I thought was home, how I would be welcomed with open arms. I would be with MY PEOPLE! I thought finally a place I could fit in. (I was wrong)
When I landed all I could hear was "American kids" America this, America that! NO I'm one of you, I can cook, I understand the language, listen to the music, what more did they want. When I would speak Igbo, listeners would just laugh, making me feel discouraged. In America I was seen as the African kid and now that I'm in Africa I'm seen as the American kid.
As a teenage, I was trying to find the perfect balance of being an African and being an American, it really got me thinking. I had a lot of biracial friends and they would talk to me about their struggles trying to find a middle ground with being half white and half black, and identifying themselves in one community. Someone who genetically was divided was going through what I was going through socially.
As a young adult when I entered the university and began meeting people from all around the country, from all walks of life, and nationalities. I met other Africans that were born in America who felt the same way I felt when it came to their identity. It was refreshing to know I wasn't the only one that was going through it as well. I have yet to find that perfect balance, by I realized I don't need it, I have been living my life, being an African has taught me about respect, family, and being hard working and being American has taught me to appreciate the opportunities here in this country.
ATTENTION: Addressing my African brothers and sisters in Africa, if you meet a fellow African that wasn't born in Africa embrace them, be happy that even though they were born abroad they still know where their parents came from and want to keep the culture alive. Please don't discourage.
We as African are strong, determined people and even though we might be confused when it comes to fitting in what ever other continent we might reside, we are still ONE!
I'm an Nigerian-American, I had to stop trying to live my life as an American and as a Nigerian and just start living life as me.
Find me on Twitter @missalldaabove or Instagram @sixfootamazon
I was born in America, both my parents came to America from Nigeria before I was born, to start a better life for themselves and their family. Both my parents have been in America for 20+ years, built a house back home and have raised four wonderful, beautiful kids.
Growing up, I understood fully and even spoke my tribal language (Igbo). I remember during my youth my dad playing some ogene music and dancing with my mom in the living room with a Guinness in one hand. My mom teaching me how to clean and cook food because I was the oldest daughter (Ada). I identified myself as a Nigerian before an American because that's all I knew growing up. My house was "Little Nigeria" it wasn't until I started getting older that I realized the way my parents raised my siblings and I wasn't the norm, and that I had to conform to an American lifestyle or feel the wrath of my age mates calling me "African booty-scratcher" or "FOB: Fresh of the Boat"
I was confused and frustrated. I was born in this country, I am an American citizen but I have Nigerian parents and was raised as a Nigerian child, learning not to take things with your left hand or having to greeting countless aunties and uncles (Even when not in the mood) or my favorite not getting an allowance because doing chores as children was what you were suppose to do, your parents work hard to put food on the table it was our responsibility to keep the house tidy no matter what or else, PUNISHMENT!
I couldn't identify with my American friends, so during that time my parents took me and my siblings to Nigeria to visit all our relatives, friends, and see the house they had built in Anambra State (where my parents are from). I was eleven years old, this was my third time going to Nigeria but the first two times I was really small. Here I was on the airplane heading to what I thought was home, how I would be welcomed with open arms. I would be with MY PEOPLE! I thought finally a place I could fit in. (I was wrong)When I landed all I could hear was "American kids" America this, America that! NO I'm one of you, I can cook, I understand the language, listen to the music, what more did they want. When I would speak Igbo, listeners would just laugh, making me feel discouraged. In America I was seen as the African kid and now that I'm in Africa I'm seen as the American kid.
As a teenage, I was trying to find the perfect balance of being an African and being an American, it really got me thinking. I had a lot of biracial friends and they would talk to me about their struggles trying to find a middle ground with being half white and half black, and identifying themselves in one community. Someone who genetically was divided was going through what I was going through socially.
As a young adult when I entered the university and began meeting people from all around the country, from all walks of life, and nationalities. I met other Africans that were born in America who felt the same way I felt when it came to their identity. It was refreshing to know I wasn't the only one that was going through it as well. I have yet to find that perfect balance, by I realized I don't need it, I have been living my life, being an African has taught me about respect, family, and being hard working and being American has taught me to appreciate the opportunities here in this country.
ATTENTION: Addressing my African brothers and sisters in Africa, if you meet a fellow African that wasn't born in Africa embrace them, be happy that even though they were born abroad they still know where their parents came from and want to keep the culture alive. Please don't discourage.
We as African are strong, determined people and even though we might be confused when it comes to fitting in what ever other continent we might reside, we are still ONE!
I'm an Nigerian-American, I had to stop trying to live my life as an American and as a Nigerian and just start living life as me.
Find me on Twitter @missalldaabove or Instagram @sixfootamazon
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ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteJust stumbled upon your blog and i wanted to add something...
As a Nigerian, No matter wherever in the world you are raised...you are from where your father is born.
In your case; you are from Anambra (Actually you are from your town or village 1st, before Anambra).
And then you are Nigerian.
I was born and raised in Lagos and i am currently in my 11th year living in Europe...but whenever anyone asks me where i am from, i say Asaba (Locally) and then Nigeria (Internationally).
I have NEVER ever mentioned that i am from either Lagos or Europe (even though i was born and raised in one and spent one-third of my life in the other).
I understand that you may feel that your situation is different, but i dont think so.
My parents raised me as an Asaba person (& not a Lagosian), and even though i was born,bred,school and everything in Lagos, i have never once thought that i am Lagosian.
So if i can suggest something; you are Nigerian, you just have spent 23 years (guesstimating here as i don't know your age) in the USA.
Great blog by the way!