What's in an Ass?

Let me just start off by saying I had a big butt, yes I was once considered a big booty Judy in my day! My butt was the talk of the town (literally) best way to describe me 2 years ago was and I quote "The tall girl with the big butt." But things have changed since then, mainly my weight. I lost 25 pounds in a matter of 3 months during the summer of 2012, want to know how I lost all that weight. I didn't eat.. no, I mean it! I had lost my job, I wasn't in school, borderline depressed, and eating an apple a day. Sounds pretty pathetic but that was my life.


Thank God I'm no longer in that situation, but I did lose something that I couldn't seem to get back, my booty, my ass, my buttocks.. you get it. I knew losing 20+ pounds so drastically would affect my body but damn why did it have to take my lady lumps!! And I wasn't the only one that noticed it either: my friends, my family, even the mailman noticed my booty was gone.

 I realized I was slimmer so I considered myself more modelesque: features of a fashion model. So I accepted my new body type as the beginning of a new chapter for me, but what I didn't know was this chapter came with some bumps.

"Oh my gosh, Where's your butt?", "Damn Ifunanya, you are mad skinny?", "Flat ass! Where's your booty?", "Your booty is gone" - Statements made to me.

I didn't understand why everyone else was stuck on "stupid" when it came to my behind. Going to clubs and wearing my little "sexy" black dress suddenly became just a black dress, bending down to pick something or even walking, became reminders of the lack of booty or the big booty I once had. Obviously, I was starting to get annoyed, I didn't understand why people were making such a big emphasis on my butt. I was still me, just slimmer and with less butt. Was my butt the reason for my popularity, or did it define my existence on this planet? Was it the reason why guys liked me? Was it the reason why I had friends, and now that it was gone, had I fallen off the radar? I was self-conscious and confused, I began over-eating, eating 5-7 times a day, force-feeding just to add some kind of weight, checking the scales, buying protein shakes from those vitamin and supplement stores that helped with gaining weight, just trying to do anything for the little whispers to stop.

I hit a new low: I began asking myself: Did my once big behind make me valuable and now that it's not as big I am worthless? Why was me having a big ass such a big deal? At first I didn't care, and to be truly honest I only started caring about what was behind me when other people made a big deal about it. I had to look in the mirror long and hard and say to myself, F*CK THEM! Yes F*ck anybody that dare had anything to say about MY body, F*ck the guys that only liked me because I had some junk in the trunk, and most importantly f*ck myself for ever thinking I wasn't perfect 20 pounds lighter or 20 pounds heavier, because no matter what I was still beautiful, and so was my body.

Coming from a person that once had a booty, to someone with not as much. What's in an ass? In my opinion, absolutely nothing but a little more fat. Please don't let society's idea of what is sexy or beautiful shape who you are or what your body should look like!

You are beautiful, and perfect just the way you are.

"Don't let the booty define you, you define the booty." - Ifunanya